Thoughts...

Last night was a great night. It was Jamie's birthday. I let loose one last time before my big, getting ready for my operation in September thing. I really needed to hang out with those people again. I missed 'em.

My chinese Medicine diet and healthy diet has been working wonders on my skin. It's cleared up 90%. I only break out in extreme circumstances now. I have 3 forms of dermatitis. Imagine what this would do for someone with just Atopic Dermatitis or Seborrhoeic dermatitis. Regardless, I'm glad I stopped giving up and just attacked my condition in full force.

I might start dating again... but I might not. Things are much less complicated when you can save up money. The one thing that irks me about being single is being lonely. When Pat fell out of my life in 1997, everything was a mess. When I feel lonely, I almost relapse into that. Unfortunately, I think most girls I like and are attracted to, I just have zero luck with for various reasons I can't fix. It's like a homeless man looking into the window of a house and seeing a family socializing over a Christmas dinner in dead of winter. Yep, It's like Dickens novel...

Martial Arts has lately been the foremost on my mind lately. I was advised to quit by the eye specialist at the Retina clinic because of complications due to the surgery or some dribble like that. It's hard to quit. I keep saying I want to but truthfully, Martial Arts is one of the only things I'm passionate about. If you take away that, I only have Writing, love and family. :/

Well, those are my thoughts.

Kensei

Since last time...

Since last time, I've been working on several things. Surviving the terrible heat here in San Diego, putting together "Darkest Night," and I started a new regime of treatment for my health.

The heat here in SD has been terrible. It's been taking a toll on my health bigtime. Everyone close to me knows, I'm not good in the heat at all. My Skin inflammates and I end up looking like a giant tomato with legs. No joke. I blame it on a prior unhealthy lifestyle I chose during high school that promoted my skin condition to worsen... But anyway, this year things seem to leveling off. I might just pull through with less scarring. We'll see.

"Darkest Night," has to be completely redone. I was rereading through my manuscript or what I have done of it and I was dissappointed. I could write much better. I'm going to go with a new concept I came up with a week or so ago. I'm also going to pump my main character to be less flat and more dynamic. He was so so. More flat then dynamic. The scenery and fight scenes need to be fleshed out more too. More zest as a teacher of mine once said.

I started a Chinese Medicine and Vitamin regime last on tuesday and I have to say it's doing some noticable changes in me. I have more energy, my skin inflammation is going down and I'm feeling healthier. The sun still hurts though. I have to stay out of it as usual.

Martial Arts... I was actually advised by the first doctor I saw in Feb. to stop any full contact style if I'm thinking about it. I've been thinking It might be a good idea to stop for awhile and take a break from all that. I'm gonna continue my working out but I'm going to stop with my Martial Arts practicing for awhile. So Kensei is going into retirement again.

My life in particular right now, eh? It's in flux. I've been meditating day in and day out on my spare time to understand a particular kunumdrum that has washed up on the shores of my heart. I would normally talk to someone about it, but there is no one I feel would or could help me feel better about the situation... A mix of disappointment, hurt, sadness and pain. And I gotta figure out how to eject it for my soul.

Thats it for tonight, Tune in next time.

Kensei

Last week or so.... Mostly BS. I'll have to experience some good things to level myself out...

Normally, when life gives me lemons, I kill the lemon or just beat on it till it's formless. That is how I roll. Anywho, lately life has thrown so many lemons that I'm getting quite sour. LOLs.

Anywho, it's been another tour through 6 flags these last few days. So many rollercoasters in my life right now. It's almost like people are intentionally throwing pebbles into my pound and causing annoying ripples.

Lets go from latest to earliest on the biggies.


Lately, Star has gotten me pretty worried. I have a feeling that someone hurt her when she dissappeared those few weeks ago. Her lower back seems to be bothering her. Either that or she got hit by a car... She never wags her tail anymore. She always seems to be tired and barely comes when I tell her. =(.

A few days ago, my boss gave me a short imposing speech on how I should learn Spanish. His argument was that I look Mexican so I should speak the language. I believe thats complete utter bullshit. I believe that People who come across the border should learn the customs and language of the country that *They* are visiting on a frequent basis. And, if they don't they shouldn't bitch to me how I should know it because I'm Mexican. I'm frelling Filipino/American. I almost find it funny how stupid they feel when I tell them what nationality I am.

LOL. I was building a saltwater tank for a pair of Pistol Shrimp and a Goby but that bombed. One my skimmer was cracked so I had to throw that away. Two, a day after I got it running my Marineland filter's motor broke. =(. And three, my test kit was dry and empty. Bad luck... I blame that. LOL.

The last thing that has bothered me was that someone is actually trying to screw me on EBAY. I bought Windows 7 from a pretty decent star'd person and he is actually trying to swindle me. He never sent me my OS and took my money. So I opened a case against him and he's giving me BS about sending me a refund. Little does he know he has to comply with what is needed to do or else he loses his Ebay Storefront and his income therein.

Well, thats all the bullshit from the last few days. I got a few rays of light here and there.

My doctor is giving me a green light for surgery. I just need to consult with a surgeon on the 26th and things will be great. Probably by auguest or so I'll be able to see clearly again.

There is another ray of light but thats really REALLY personal... plus if I put it up here someone might annoy the situation and try to interfear again. It makes me happy though so I'm gonna sit through it.

Kensei

First post in awhile...

Well, it has been awhile. After my last little escapade down injury lane, I decided to take it easy and harness my internal martial arts and understand the nature of my chi, or Ki as you japanese practitioners like to call it. Regardless, I wanted to harness and understand my internal energies and the energies the body produces in movement. The strangest thing happened when I was practicing fa jing, or rather more appropriatedly, the one inch punch. I did more damage to my target when I focused and just let energy from my muscles naturally course through me rather then just twisting and snapping with my body as a whole. Somehow, my mind helped generate some strength. Maybe, I hold back on alot of my technique. I have to meditate on that concept.

Anywho, my working out and stuff has hit an iceburg. I've gotten smaller. LOLs. I bulked up quite abit but lost it when I got sick. Some of it was replaced with fat and that is just utter BS. I'm gonna have to jog it off... At least at the clinic for my checkup, I wieghted 148 or so. Thats about right, but I lost about 6 pounds somewhere.

Lets see... Non-Martial Arts and workout related mumbo jumbo...

Mixed Nuts Comics, the comic co. I edit for, got accepted into comic con this year... so that will be just awesome. =D I'm really proud of everyone thats apart of this little group. Everyone does what they need to do and Twitch really shows heart pushing it up a very steep slope. Great job goes out to him for that.

I got a new rig set up. It's just gaming rig but awesome never the less. It's a dual core but hell, it gets what I need done. When I need a Quad Core, I'll make one and rebuild this monster. The only draw back is the damaged 1Tb HD I was trying to fix, it's just too gone to save the OS on the drive. So right now, I just put my old HD in there and it's running like a beauty. Once I get windows 7 in the mail, probably in a about a week or so, It'll be great. Nothing makes you feel better then looking at something you built and realizing, "You just accomplished something, really good."

I decided to let Star sleep in my room at night now. She's so old and my family neglects her. She's a darling. She just sits there on her bed and watches whatever I'm doing. If I'm dosed on the 'B'(Benedryl) or the 'Z' Zyrtec, I play with her for abit. She's been really good about telling me when she has to go.

Sleep calls. Adios.

Kensei

Back in Action....

Sorry for the delay in my Blog Entries... For a few weeks there I was seriously injured. Nothing time couldn't fix though. I had a Degree 2 Muscle pull on my shoulder and an old Judo injury resurfaced at work in the way of a pinch nerve about a week after that. Sucked. But, I'm nearly all better now and back in action. Or rather, I'm back in Black.

So for the first time in weeks I started my Pushup, Pullup/Chinup, Makiwara, and Abs routine. I'm back to basics on Most of 'em since my strength is all messed up. Don't get me wrong I still punch pretty hard but my over strength pulling myself up and down on the bar is lacking something to desire. I need to just start from Ground Zero again.

Now to the topic of the Alabaster Princess... some of you may have seen the facebook status updates about her. She's a girl that keeps showing up every once and awhile at work. I don't know if she's doing it intentionally but she's been mildly flirting with me. Well, actually, I have to confess... I start it. She's sweet, fun and sassy. Not to mention beautiful. And, she has a Yorkie. =D. I wonder where all this flirting is going...

Well, in a few weeks, the effort to fix my eyes will become a reality. I will get rid of this aweful cataracts in my eyes once and for all. The county is helping me... I'll have to pay them back but fuck, who cares if I'm gonna get all better right? I'm going to my clinic interview hopefully in a few weeks to determine my operation date. Then after my operation, I'll take a few days off to recover... then after I get 100% I'm going to push myself harder like I should have done in the beginning. Objectives must be accomplished. First, Car. Second, New Job that fits my Computer software Major. And Third, I'm gonna take matter seriously with the opposite sex. Mostly, the third is possible but I can't really take girls out if I can't see them too well and drive them places can I? And, it's a big stress on the relationship if I'm an invalid. I'd rather not do that to someone...

Anywho, Thats about it, journal peeps. I'm back and better then ever...

Steve

Valuable Lesson...

I learned a valuable lesson, it's on par with look before you leap. So know what your hitting before you hit it. I nearly broke my elbow yesterday demonstrating a strike. Just because I thought it was a box of Dog Beds didn't mean it was. Actually it was fillled to the brim with Cattle Leg Bones and when I struck it, I really felt it, Oh boy. Lucky for me, I didn't strike it with my full force. LOL.

The Zone...

I realize something. I have truckloads of passion but there was something missing. During my thoughts and meditations while training I searched for it. What was missing. Whats so important that It's eluding me. What is one of the cornerstones of a successful martial artist. As I was going down the list and memories, One popped in my head in particular. I need to get in the Zone. That place where there is only me and my opponent. One could compare this with focus but Focus is just a part of it. I guess being in the zone could be compared with No-mindedness in a fight. When you fight de-attached and everything comes naturally and efficiantly. Time to train my mind harder. For this, I'm going to need to go back to a Dojo and spar someone strong and I mean strong. I mean at least a second degree blackbelt who's not rusty or knows his stuff extensively. It's not about winning or beating him, it's about taking apart conquering my own mind and impulses.