The fear of death isn't something that I normally have but it hit me hard on Thursday. There was a fight outside my house involving two kids. I nearly got stabbed trying to do the right thing. I think I got to handle situations better... When it happened I reacted on instict and hit him in the throat with the bridge of my hand and he went down like a oak tree in a fierce rainstorm... It was a bad mess after that. The agressive kid with the screwdriver took off when I was checking the other hurt kids for serious injury. I had to call the boys parents but they didn't speak English, lucky for me, the kid was able to talk.
Other then that, life has been good. I've been out and about doing things I haven't done in awhile and it's a plus. It makes me feel awesome. :).
For once, I took down my barriers for someone. I volunteerly removed the walls around my heart. I've never done that for anyone before, even for people I thought I loved... For once, I feel comfortable, safe, and real. There's no coming back from this feeling. It's like swimming in a warm ocean of warmth, hopes and security.
I did something today without flinching. Which tells me a lot... considering how the last few weeks have been for me. I was sitting on a bench preparing for the next test when a really pretty girl actually tried making conversation with me. She was training for a nurse here at UEI and was on her last module. Anyway, she asked my name, shook my hand tried to flatter me, then she asked me if we'd like to go out for some lunch at Fudruckers. I gave her an, "I'm sorry, I can't." without even hesitating... I just find it strange how life changes constantly. If this happened 3 weeks prior to holloween, I would never have said that. Which led me to this thought, "Life is a fast paced world... things change evolve and move forward. Sometimes, very quickly, It's how you react to those things that define you. There are many possibities in life. So, it's also how you move forward which determines where life takes you." I'm happy where I am... and I wouldn't change that for the world.
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